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BLESSED ARE THE SHAMELESS

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Blessed Are the Shameless A 21 year old American streamer enters Lagos surrounded by bodyguards and cameras, and very quickly the outstretched hands begin to appear. Not hands waving hello. Hands asking. Hands reaching. Hands, demanding. The crowd is loud. Some of them were laughing, some of them jeering, many asking for cash, for streaming. It is easy, from a distance, to call this embarrassing. To say Nigerians beg too much. To say the country has forgotten pride. Lagos, up close, teaches you the rules with your body. Heat on the back of your neck. Generator coughs behind walls. A road that is five roads at once. A queue is a suggestion. A policeman’s stare is a question you are expected to answer with money. The public square is not neutral. It is an instructor, and its syllabus is survival. In a place where institutions do not protect you, where procedure does not rescue you, where waiting your turn is a reliable method of being ignored, shame becomes a rule you keep for yourself w...
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KEEP GANGSTA 😂

Teachers make good wives/husbands.  It's in the constitution.  Nurses/Doctors sitaongea mengi.  Most Business women (Successful ones) are unmarried.  Don't try to marry them, son. Wekea mkewe biashara. Ukiona inashika sana anaenda kuomoka, tuma wezi na uuwe mmoja wao. Ibeni lakini mbakishe kidogo. Mpe pesa ya stock tena. Repeat. Sitawafunza kila kitu, cabrons..!
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MISSING YOU

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If you go missing for seven years without anyone hearing from you, the law presumes that you are dead. A court may then declare you dead, and the date of that declaration becomes the official date of death that appears on your death certificate. This means your relatives are legally allowed to inherit your land and property—while we, your neighbours, go ahead and distribute your women among ourselves. If you suddenly re-emerge in the eighth year as a “returning officer,” you have no legal right to reclaim what was previously yours. The lesson, therefore, is simple. Anyone who chooses to 'enter grass' must always return within six years to beat this law. If necessary, you may then disappear again and again. This is one of those pieces of humour that somehow found its way into the law books (the Evidence Act). I also remember a similar touch of humour in the 2010 Constitution. Article 14 on citizenship states that if a child is found anywhere in Kenya, appears to be eight years ...
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KEEP IT COOL

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The dating market in Togo The new rule of the capitalistic dating market is "take options". This rule says ‘save people you wish to date and be patient until they ran out of options or reach some dead ends and start going back through their past pretenders address book.’ In Togo, nowadays people delay engagement or relationships, preferring flix and chill, casuals, trying partners from all races and tribes, and would only start looking for a partner when tired of adventure, ran out options, or when a pregnancy would occur. ‘Save me until I’d ran out of option’ is the new motto. Patience is the new best courtisan skill. ‘I have not fucked around enough to settle. Look how many people I could afford to bed, why would I choose any now’. As sex became abundant and trust evaporated, people enter relationships very cynically, almost resentful of the social obligation of being in couple which is depriving them of the freedom of living as they wish. People would start a couple out of...
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MANENO TU PART 2

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Little foxes that destroy the bloom. There are places that slowly but surely take down your pride and grace, it is not grand but it is incrementally degrading. Slowly. I have observed over the years that it is usually a mismatch of energy, you may not always know what someone's intention is, or what they do or say behind your back but you can always tell a person's energy is off, you can even feel it while away if you take time to listen to your psyche more.  People who do not like you may not openly say something grande, but they may throw snide comments, show disdain covertly, avoid eye contact when they sneer or jest at you. The eyes are the gateway or windows to the soul, you stare at them and you might learn a thing or two. Songs of Solomon says, catch us the little foxes because it is those that destroy the vineyard flowers before they even bloom. Some things and some people do not often affect the grand, they are masters at identifying signs of blooming, your little effo...
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MANENO TU

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1. "Be careful whom you trust; salt and sugar look alike." — Japanese Proverb 2. "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." — Martin Luther King Jr. 3. "An army of sheep led by a lion will defeat an army of lions led by a sheep." — Arabic Proverb 4. "The only way to deal with this unjust world is to rebel against it." — Albert Camus 5. "Those who seek to control others are often those who cannot control themselves." — Marcus Aurelius 6. "If something goes wrong, fix it. But train yourself not to worry—worrying never fixes anything." — Ernest Hemingway 7. "The one who lives for others will be remembered far longer than the one who lives only for himself." — Leo Tolstoy 8. "Wisdom is knowing when to speak, and intelligence is knowing when to stay silent." — Socrates 9. "A broken heart teaches you lessons that success never will." — Khalil Gibran 10. "Beware of those who...
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BROKEN DEAL

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The old idea is simple: if a kid from a poor family is smart, works hard, and behaves well, they can climb the ladder to a better life. That’s supposed to be the deal. But that deal is broken. Because being smart and skilled isn’t enough if you’re never given the tools. When we deny these children access to great teachers and good schools, it’s not an accident. It’s a choice. It’s a quiet kind of class war, where the wealthy protect their own children’s future by fencing off the best opportunities and shutting out the competition. Talent and intelligence aren’t handed out based on income. A brilliant mind can be born anywhere. But a brilliant education? That’s increasingly for sale. It’s slowly becoming a luxury item, reserved for those who can pay. Think about the sheer numbers. There are more kids in poor neighborhoods than in wealthy enclaves. So the pool of potential, the hidden Einsteins, the unseen innovators, is actually far greater among the poor. But their potentia...
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